Below is a collection of random observations and rants that came to mind whilst I was busy avoiding being busy (this page will forever be “work in progress”):
He who fails to achieve a dream set by himself is more honorable than he who succeeds in achieving a dream set by his society.
To be called insane: challenge convention. To be called possessed: challenge religion.
You cannot sensibly expect a starving “God-fearing” man to honor the 8th commandment.
In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.
A face-lift is a woman’s attempt to lower the odds of the next person accurately guessing her age.
In any sane society, a farmer is a billion times more important than an economist.
In a materialistic society, there’s no such a thing as a ‘romantic’ broke man.
12% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to see better. 88% of people with glasses wear them as an attempt to appear smarter.
Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work.
Schooling is a manufacturing process whereby the raw material called curious boys is turned into products called obedient men.
‘The office’ is a cemetery of dreams.
To be enslaved then, you needed to be ignorant. To be enslaved today, you need to be educated.
Retirement is a stage where an employer discards an employee that he cannot exploit further.
A model is an actor without a voice.
The difference between a retiring man and a used condom is that the condom isn’t given a golden watch to inspire the illusion that it still matters to whomever that has just used it.
When ready to settle down: women are more interested in where the man is going; men are more interested in where the woman has been.
If human beings weren’t ‘dumbable’ enough to be made soldiers, war would be nothing but an exchange of swear words between a handful of individuals.
A soldier is a killer pardoned.
A killer is someone who killed another without their country’s permission.
The news is glorified gossip.
What ‘primitive’ men called greed; ‘civilized’ men call ambition.
12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.
Belonging to the working class is the economy’s punishment for those who did what they were told to do in class.
‘Ambition’ is ‘greed’ rebranded.
In a society where women are truly equal to men, a kid bred by a theist mother and an atheist father is born an agnostic. In a patriarchal society, the kid is automatically an atheist.
Ambition is greed without makeup.
Employees leave where they work. Employers live where they work.
Some women sleep their way to the top. Most men sleep their way to the bottom.
It’s the invention of clothes, not nature, that made “private parts” private.
For the duration of his erection: To a horny man, all women are the most beautiful woman in the world.
88% of women love making their first love making incident with a man seem like an accident.
To see a man’s true colours, tell him that you don’t plan on having sex with him. To see a woman’s true colours, tell her that you don’t plan on marrying her.
To flatter a young man, tell him that you thought he was older than he is. To flatter an old woman, tell her that you thought she was younger than she is.
With the exception of a gun, starvation is the only thing that is capable of making an insane man lose his mind.
For good health, watch what you eat. For a good head, watch what you watch.
A “good man” is a male creature that survives the endless episodes that its woman spends complaining about women who she hates, and, women who hate her.
A healthy man watched what he ate. An intelligent man watched what he watched.
Life punishes those who have things in abundance by making them worry about petty things like: what to wear, or, which car to drive.
In the Bible, a woman was made from a man. In real Life, a man is made from a woman.
A job interview is a competition won by those who are qualified the most, and, those who are willing to be payed the least.
Man seldom behaves as per his philosophies. He philosophizes as per his behavior.
Starving whilst schooled is like a man’s finding out that his wife is on her periods … a few seconds after he took Viagra.
Fat people are funny, until obesity pays your loved one a visit.
A vagina is an uneducated woman’s diploma.
Torn clothes are funny, until you dad gets fired.
“Chomie” is South African homosexual men’s unofficial name.
Erectile dysfunction is funny, until you fail to rise to the occasion.
Men did not need to have balls to have balls.
A makeover is the rebranding of a human being.
Alcohol is evil … until your loved one gets employed by a brewery.
Most women think cheating is “disgusting,” until they fall for a man that likes them back; but isn’t willing to leave his lover for them.
A newspaper is an oversized book with adverts and an expiry date.
Men marry for the womb. Women marry for their tummy.
A moral judgment of abortion is the usage of a man-made ideology to judge a man-made technology.
To a fireman, wind is a curse. To a sailor, wind is a blessing.
To a man who was required to marry before he was allowed to have sex with his lover, marriage is a ‘righteous’ form of prostitution.
Girls date boys with enough jokes to keep them well-entertained. Women marry men with enough money to keep them well-fed.
The rich are nothing without the poor’s acknowledgment of money.
To some people, employment is a distraction. To all entertainers, distraction is employment.
School programs the schooled to type a CV. Life inspires the unschooled to type a business plan.
A tomboy is a bisexual girl’s dream lover.
Some couples are married because they fell in love. Some are married because the woman fell pregnant.
“I’m hustling” is a low self-esteem having man’s way of saying “I’m unemployed,” when answering a seemingly materialistic woman’s question about what he does for a living.
To the family of a victim of a fatal accident, the deceased was at the wrong place at the wrong time. To the family of the morgue owner, the deceased was at the right place at the right time.
Generally, a woman would rather be married to any man that she doesn’t hate, than remain unmarried to a man that she loves.
You don’t tell a boy that he is a boy. You simply act like a man.
Employment is the exploitation of the employer’s courage, and, the employed’s fear of failure.
Your enemy is most humbled when he finds out that the person that he looks up to … looks up to you.
A diploma is a piece of paper that is used to acquire another piece of paper; an employment contract.
To a man with an internet connection, every thought and every movement sounds like a tweet or status update.
To a homeless man, home is literally where the heart is.
Clothes are a homeless man’s home.
“Feminists” who accept the claim made in The Book of Genesis, and, that God is a he, need to make their minds up.
The definition of “Employment” by an employer, and, that by an employee, are seldom the same.
Man mostly sees what he is looking for; seldom what he is looking at.
To know what should be going on in a household: spend a few minutes with the wife, or, the husband. To know what’s really going on: spend a few minutes with their kid.
You know you made it, when people you know, tell people they know, that you know them.
You know you made it, when your friends tell their friends that you are their friend.
A man’s bank balance is the new penis size.
How much man likes or hates a person or a thing is dependent on how much he knows or does not know about the person or the thing.
The streets are a poor kid’s PlayStation™
You cannot really get peace. You can only get rid of war.
To drive a woman away, tell her that you are unemployed. To bore her, tell her that you are single.
While having one’s assertions challenged might be bad for an unintelligent man’s ego; it sure is good for his intellect.
Dating is a man-made ideology; if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, one would either be in a relationship, or, six feet under.
Marriage and dating are man-made ideologies; if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, we’d all be born in pairs; as couples.
Eyes are a deaf man’s ears. Ears are a blind man’s eyes.
There’s a correlation between the number of digits on a man’s bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for.
A love triangle is a threesome delayed.
A philosopher philosophizes what people need to hear. A motivational speaker speaks what people want to hear.
The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.
Be ashamed not of being single, or, unemployed. That comes standard.
To a socially-conditioned man: those who died without having had a lover or a kid as not having lived.
Nothing humbles a rich man better than a poor man that isn’t willing to do ‘anything’ for money.
For the most difficult way to be retweeted, or, liked: be thought-provoking. For the easiest way: quote Oprah, or, the Bible.
Practice doesn’t make perfect. Imperfection makes practice.
S’tjwetla is a black man’s striptease.
Most “educated” people would rather be called “professional” than be said to be “humane.”
Sun glasses are the unofficial celebrities’ uniform.
Periods are a period when nature forces prostitutes to go on leave.
Some people are color-blind, some are intellectually-deaf.
To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.
Some people are so boring that you are more bored when you are with them than when you are alone.
To gain height, lose all your tall friends.
To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you’ve lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you.
You can only be unpredictable once.
Wealth is relative: Some people aren’t really rich; they just have poor neighbors.
Profitable bookstores sell books. Unprofitable book sellers store books.
Tax is citizenship’s rent.
The Paradox of Sustenance: For an organism’s life to be continued; another organism’s life has to be discontinued.
There are two kinds of humble people. Humble people, and, broke people.
A driver’s license is an uneducated man’s diploma.
Most employees don’t really want to be highly-paid; they just want to earn more than their peers, and, more importantly, more than their enemies.
If every lover was treated like they matter — everyday; valentine’s day wouldn’t be so “special.”
If everybody was treated like they matter — everyday; birthdays wouldn’t be so “special.”
The more man studies; the less he loves reading.
A cowardly critique starts with a compliment.
An education system is best belittled when the so-called educated gets hired by a company that’s owned by a so-called dropout.
To halve the number of times that other people hurt you; halve the number of expectations that you have from other people.
A high self-esteem having artist works hard to be understood. A low self-esteem having artist works hard to be agreed with.
Once employed, man’s old friend is reduced to someone that he only sees when he has a new problem, or, something new to show off.
When rich, being poor seems “adventurous.”
If nature really acknowledged the so-called “women’s month” … the entire month would have been “period-pain-free.”
Motivational speaking is the art of motivating people with what they have been motivated with before … without them noticing.
Life ups the self-esteem of a low-paid man by giving him things that the high-paid man that he envies cannot buy (intellect, looks, sex appeal, etc.)
Life enslaves the poor by giving them problems that money can resolve, or, dissolve.
Life humbles the rich by giving them problems that money can’t resolve, or, dissolve.
To halve the number of asses that you’re required to kiss; double your dependency on yourself.
Time is a double-edged sword: while it might heal all wounds; it also kills all the healed.
Sense isn’t democratic. A senseless opinion that’s advocated by “the majority” is still a senseless opinion.
Closing one’s eyes when praying doesn’t increase the odds of the prayer being answered. It merely decreases the odds of being distracted.
Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with inabilities.
If love wasn’t conditional, we’d all be polygamists.
Going bald is a mohawk-having man’s worst nightmare.
To see all pessimists as pessimists is to be a pessimist.
Some marry because they are in love. Others marry to have sex … without the guilt.
Faith does not make things happen. It merely breeds perseverance; which helps one persist in making things happen.
We are quantity-obsessed: Instead of living for 30 pleasant years (and then calling it a life); most would rather live for 80 unpleasant years.
An artist that makes art merely to meet a demand is a slave to what his patrons wants to see, or, hear.
The less knowledgeable a nation is, the more “miracles” the nation has.
Air freshener is man’s pitiful attempt to have his food smell as good, after digestion, as they did, before ingestion.
Literacy makes man a victim of advertising. Education makes him a victim of employment.
If love wasn’t conditional, every single first encounter with individuals of your preferred gender would result in “love at first sight.”
Education is an ingredient necessary for an uneducated person to be worthy of being exploited by those who employ.
You know a man is interesting when you forget to notice how expensive — or cheap — his clothes are.
Courtship is an activity whereby one losses oneself whilst trying to win someone’s love.
The rich spend their life living; the poor spend their life making a living.
School is a factory where the raw material called student is turned into a product called employee.
A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.
Some are unemployed because they lack the minimum required education. Others are unemployed because they lack the minimum required obedience.
Though man needs to live to believe, he does not need to believe to live.
Beliefs are conclusions reached by men who are lazy to think for themselves.
If unconventional ideas = sperm, then public opinion = abortion.
A ‘normal person’ is what is left after society has squeezed out all unconventional behavior and aspirations out of a human being.
Opinions of the masses kill the “extra” in an “extraordinary” idea.
An ordinary idea is what is left after its conceiver has entertained the opinions of the masses on his extraordinary idea.
He who says that someone isn’t himself is a victim of statistics.
The more civilized people are, the more honorable working hard is to them. Meaning, the more civilized we get, the less we live.
A wedding is a ceremony men fund with money they know they don’t have … to prove the love they think they have.
In fiction: we find the predictable boring. In real life: we find the unpredictable terrifying.
We kill other living organisms in order to sustain our lives, yet we cry foul when death kills us to sustain itself.
Man is more likely to believe an opinion that he wanted to hear; than a fact that he wishes was an opinion.
After our loved one dies: we cry, not because they left; but because they left us.
“Forever” is an illusion that human beings promise each other; when they are horny, or, trying to appear holy.
Once acquired, knowledge feels like common sense.
A bad handwriting is as annoying to a reader … as an irritating voice is to a listener.
Smartphones are tools which fools fiddle with when they are around people that they don’t have the courage, or, the intellect, to converse with.
He who frowns when they say that he sucks shouldn’t smile when they say that he rocks.
Fear usually benefits the feared; seldom the fearful.
To fail, try to please your critics. To please your critics, try to fail.
A genius does what he masters. An ordinary man tries to master what he does.
If employment really cared about employees, people wouldn’t have to work until retirement comes to their rescue.
To be a better cook, cook more. To be a better writer, read more.
You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.
The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.
Eating a salad is an overweight person’s attempt to appear in control.
Expensive clothing is a poor man’s attempt to appear prosperous.
A straight face is an ignorant man’s attempt to appear knowledgeable.
Not smoking is not an achievement. Like virginity, it comes standard.
Sustainability is best illustrated by those who sell food … just so they afford something to eat.
Free is he who is reputable for not being fearful of losing his reputation.
Growing up is childish.
When rich, being poor seems “adventurous.”
Those that can, philosophize, those who can’t, do.
Most “self-employed” people remain slaves to the employed’s “working hours.”
To a historian, today only starts being important after today has ended.
For an entrepreneur: wealth invites fame. For a celebrity: fame invites wealth.
Prophets sell you what “will” happen tomorrow. Historians sell you what happened yesterday.
A historian is a risk-terrified prophet.
Historians predict the past for a living.
Multitudes speak of their first love — seldom about their last hate.
Life isn’t a set of yesterdays.
To be better equipped for the tests that the year will bring — read a textbook. To prepare for the tests that life will bring — read a book.
“Self-employed” people work where they live. “Entrepreneurs” live where they work.
Reading leads to knowing more. Knowing more leads to arrogance. Reading further leads to humbleness.
The best fights are those fought by those without a Plan B.
Speaking one’s mind once is more honorable than quoting a thousand men.
To be a genuine “fake” pastor one needs: (1) a bible (2) a tailored suit; and (3) a few psychology books.
Quoting other men is an activity whereby the person quoting shares: thoughts that he wish he thought, or, words that he had no balls to say.
Intellectually curious men become generalists. Intellectually lazy men settle for being specialists.
A specialist’s mind is a slave to his specialization.
Those who believe that “Bisexual people have double the odds of getting laid wherever they go” suck at probabilistic thinking.
A greeting is to a conversation (between strangers); what foreplay is to sex. Though it makes things “easier” — it isn’t a prerequisite.
A mentally-unchained physically-chained man is more free than a mentally-chained physically-unchained man.
You are. Before you are whatever you are labeled.
A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist.
Contrary to popular belief, knowing where you are from will not really tell you where you are going. It will merely tell you why you are where you are.
An editor is someone who is paid to tell a writer what she thinks about how he wrote what he thinks.
A ‘white’ kid that asks too many questions is called “curious.” A ‘black’ kid that asks too many questions is called “forward.”
A model’s opinion seldom matters. The only time that he is required to open his mouth … is when he is required to smile at the camera.
In modeling: He with better looks is more in demand than he who has read greater books.
In modeling: She who has read better books is less in demand than she who has bigger boobs.
“Nothing is free” asserts two things. Both assertions are true.
The only things that old age comes standard with is grey hair and wrinkles. Wisdom and intellect are earned.
The older you get, the easier it is for you to distinguish between your friends and people you are not seeing for the first time.
Readers with a need for a writer to write twice in order for them to understand the first writing need to develop a habit of re-reading.
A photograph is usually the photographer’s subconscious attempted to possess the photographed moment.
To teach, learn. To learn, teach.
Before a writer teaches through a writing: he is, through writing, taught.
He who is ready to die for his country is a fool. For he didn’t choose where he was born; and where he was born didn’t choose him.
If human beings were really progressive creatures: all men would be smarter, healthier, and, wealthier than their grandparents.
It is better to read one intellectually challenging book every 12 months; than to read 12 entertaining books every month.
Some people aren’t really light-teethed; they’re just dark-skinned.
Life is deadly.
Racism, xenophobia, sexism, homophobia homosexuality, et al. are symptoms of a dumb society.
Homophobic people need to stop concerning themselves with other people’s sex lives.
Saying that someone is worth $8 millions (net worth) is like saying that someone walks 217 mph — just because they drive a Ferrari.
Being remembered when dead is man’s pitiful unconscious attempt to live forever.
If being seen as worthy of employing is the best that school does for the schooled, then school is overrated.
“Normal” and “Superior” aren’t synonyms.
A realist is a slave to reality.
“Customer service” is seldom about the customer; it is usually about the seller’s chances of making more money from that customer in future.
Capitalism has turned human beings into commodities. To the owner of a restaurant: the cook and a bag of potatoes are equally important.
When your lover’s parents ask you what it is that you do for a living: they’re not really concerned about you; they’re concerned about their daughter’s tummy.
There is a time for everything; even nothing.
A push-up bra is to a woman’s chest; what “breathing in” is to a man’s stomach.
Philosophy is to a thinker; what push-ups are to a model.
Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is done at the expense of one’s Tuesday.
Most people can’t stand spending a minute with themselves. Yet they expected others to spend an hour, a day, or, even a lifetime, with them.
12% of employees eat because they are hungry. 88% of employees eat because it is 1 o’clock.
“Paying one’s last respects” is more about the payer than the paid. (Who attends the funeral — and who doesn’t — is the deceased’s last worry.)
Two reasons people HATE/FIGHT change: (1) People fear the unknown (2) There are always people profiting from how things are.
Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.
The sight of an obese poor man — like that of a skinny rich man — is puzzling.
People who get offended by your not saying “Thank you!” after they’ve paid you a compliment were merely desperate to be thanked.
Instead of making the best of Today: We foolishly use Today as nothing but a means to Tomorrow. Yet all Tomorrows have their own Tomorrow.
An enlightened thinker does not waste his precious time thinking about what others think of what he thinks.
Hanging around people you’re smarter than is good for your ego. Hanging around people who are smarter than you is good for your smarts.
When you lose a friend or a lover, those who remain in your life gain more of your attention.
98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% are.
The dumbest thing I ever did? Buying a TV. The smartest thing I ever did? Giving that TV away.
Security is a double-edged sword: while a fence sure protects the fenced; it also imprisons the protected.
It is better to have a grand mind than to have a few grands. For if you forget your wallet, you’d be fucked.
Books breed knowledge. Newspapers breed awareness. The latter’s offspring isn’t as useful as most of its readers paint it to be.
Being rich is an untalented artist’s consolation prize.
For the sake of you being productive: It helps to decide whether you are a writer that tweets, or, a twitterer that writes.
To put an arrogant “famous” singer in her place; pretend to be deaf.
To put an arrogant “famous” writer in his place; pretend to be illiterate.
An ID number is only there to “identify” human beings. Use it to assume people’s intellect or wisdom at your own risk.
Some singers are in it to rhyme. To them, making sense is just a bonus.
A writer is merely a reader that had the guts to be read, and, heard.
The most unfair thing about sex is that men are almost always guaranteed an orgasm.
A minimalist does not charge you for what he did. He charges you for what he did not do.
Obedience is to a model, what a huge penis is to a male porn star.
Obedience is to a model, what a good calf is to an athlete.
I can never be a model. I lack the necessary obedience.
In modeling, the colour of a man’s teeth is more important than his IQ.
Those who say that money can’t buy you love make it sound as if love can buy you money.
An enemy of your enemy might be your friend. But a friend of your friend isn’t ‘automatically’ your friend.
Bored of Directors.
It is rude to tweet while having sex; but it is not rude to have sex while tweeting.
Reality is based on the present.
There are more writers who read than readers who write.
A breakup is a loss to both parties; not only to he or she who has been told that it’s over.
A tapping foot isn’t the best a listener can get from a song: A good song makes a listener dance. A great song makes him think.
The phrase “You complete me …” is nonsensical. A couple is a “we” — not a complete “me.”
Most employees are smarter than their employers. All employers are braver than their employees.
“Saving the best for last” is only O.K if you’re sure of when you’re going kick the bucket. Otherwise, I’m afraid, you could be “Saving the best for dust.”
“Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse” is dumb. When dead, looks matters not. (Furthermore, the corpse will only look good for a day, or, twelve.)
Patriotism is a cancer that fools suffer from. Countries are man-made. A continent is a piece of land, not pieces of lands.
A prisoner is imprisoned by the crime that he has committed. A jailer is imprisoned — in the very same prison — by the employment contract that he has signed.
He who acquired all his wealth by “being at the right place at the right time” is hypocritical by being angry for losing all his wealth because of his “being at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Whoever that came up with the idea of people having to have “a dream” sure knew how to keep these creatures called human beings preoccupied.
Wealth, laughter, an orgasm, etc. you can fake. Intelligence? I think so, not.
A celebrity’s body is an advertiser’s canvas.
Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others’ clothes on.
If history really forever repeats itself: then, it has always been then.
“You only get one chance to make a first impression.” Ahhh, … Whatever!!! Who said you get three chances to make the second impression?!!
In a society where the primary priority is man’s well-being (esp. his health); a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.
If nature really acknowledged the calendar we would all die a day before our birthday.
It is foolish to teach a person a lesson by killing them. For they’d be too dead to learn anything.
You know you’ve reached the end of a relationship when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh.
Reality is in the hand of the masturbator.
Sleeping is the most common attempt to temporarily escape reality.
You cannot sensibly call a man “lost” if his intended destination is unbeknown to you.
If heaven really exists: then, technically, living is an activity that believers keep themselves busy with — while they wait for their death.
You need to have died before; before you can sensibly label life as good or bad.
Death penalty is the number one killer of killers.
Eating healthy is expensive. Not eating healthy is expensive. One dents your pocket; the other dents your health.
Twitter gives people an illusionary sense of leadership.
Facebook gives people an illusory sense of being “liked.”
If the earth is really revolving: That then means that a season (spring, summer, autumn, etc.) is a place, not a period.
If heaven really exists, then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.
A promotion is an illusionary solution out of an indebted employee’s debt pit.
There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.
Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their unknowledge.
A CEO is a board of directors personified.
Juice is a poor man’s dessert.
Peanut butter is a poor man’s marmalade.
Happiness is a temporary recurring human experience.
Entrainment distracts the entertained from thinking.
Everybody is talking about the Law of Attraction. Nobody is talking about the Law of Action.
A phone call should be a convenience to the caller, not an inconvenience to the called.
Your friends love you for who you are. Your family loves you for what you are.
“Employee” is a label given to a creature that could not hold on to its dream.
The are two types of vegetarians: those who have beef with chicken, and, those who are too chicken to have beef.
88% of what we call good songs aren’t really good. They merely remind us of a good time we once had.
Technically, the better McDonald’s does, the better Virgin active’s chances of acquiring a new client.
When done in the name of love, insanity is excusable.
The reason man is never satisfied with his salary is that when it increases, he increases his expenses.
Looking at what “foreplay” is — “sexual intercourse” is a game.
Memories rob us of the present.
Success is subjective. Your dream bank balance could be someone else’s nightmare.
There’s a very fine line between being broke and being humble.
The zoo kills the “wild” in “wild animal.”
Not everybody that says that you suck is a hater. There are people who suck.
To masturbate is to imagine — physically.
A hundred years ago, an average teenager knew countless authors, and, one or two sex positions. Today, an average teenager knows countless sex positions, and, one or two authors.
A freedom-fighter is a slave to freedom.
Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.
It is foolish to expect someone to defend an opinion they had yesterday today.
Sports unite people by dividing them. Religion divide people by uniting them.
Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.
A true survivor is someone who, after 12+ years of being schooled, remains independent in their thinking.
Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having.
School is a factory where employees manufacture employees.
If clothes indeed maketh the man; then being the man can be bought, borrowed, or, stolen.
An employer’s fart is music to his employees’ ears.
An “Employee of the Month” is a titled given to someone who best helped someone else actualize their dream — in that particular month.
Chances are whatever that you’re worried about, be it a person or a thing, isn’t worried about you.
Worry is to human beings, what a condom is to a man with erectile dysfunction.
There really is no correlation between age and one’s bank balance. I’ve met wealthy boys and broke men.
Without “not-very-important-people” — a VIP area is just an area.
Ownership breeds slavery: with every single thing that you acquire, comes a new worry of not losing that thing.
Those who lack the guts to create critic.
The boring thing about being interesting is that you bore boring people.
I am obsessed with not being obsessed with acquiring material things.
A genius is a grownup that remained a kid.
Life begins with pregnancy. Fuck 40.
More often than not, a C.E.O is merely a puppet whose strings are pulled by a board of directors.
I have the fear of people knowing what I am fearful of.
A writer’s primary goal is to make sense. The bookstore’s is to make cents.
Some kid asked what a dilemma is … and I replied … “When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and. a roll of toilet paper.”
With regards to getting AIDS and getting laid — being interesting can be an interesting guy’s downfall.
Some women are so possessive … you end up missing missing them.
Hypocrisy is when you get mad at a friend for telling their friend a secret that your other friend told you.
Don’t obsess over the “latest” version of a product — there was a time that the previous version was the latest.
When a man cheats: it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats: it is said it is because her man is a dog.
Live each day as if it is your last. Most days you will be wrong.
Small thinkers hide behind big words.
Too much of a good thing is bad. Too much of a bad thing is bad too. “Too much” must be bad.
When coming to making kids, size doesn’t count, it’s sperm count that counts.
Sometimes it is the reader that sucks, not the book.
Speaking about work isn’t working.
We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.
In a conversation: It is either you are talking, or, you’re learning.
Judge not the value of a friend by the number of boy- or girlfriends they helped you get. But by the number of books they’ve recommended to you.
If hard work really pays, then that makes laziness unemployment.
Time limps when you are not having fun.
Following is easy. Being followed is hard.
Behind every rich employer, there is a not-so rich employee.
Minimalism is the new extra mile.
Illiterate people should only be charged for the photographs — when buying a newspaper.
Minimalism is the new extra mile.
B.E.E killed “Is it ‘cos I’m black?”
To put a dreamer in their place isn’t dreaming.
A sensible speaker is a slave to making sense.
Generally, people need less than a quarter of what they want.
Not every married person is happy, and, not every happy person is married.
Not every rich person is happy, and, not every happy person is rich.
A live broke man is “luckier” than a dead rich man.
Thanks to the internet, you can provoke thoughts of those in mansions, from the uncomfortableness of your shack.
Behind every broke employee, there is a not-so broke employer.
Money can buy you hate.
A writer appreciate with every word that she writes. While her pen depreciates with every word that it writes.
We are all brothers and sisters; there are just too many of us to live under one roof.
Marriage converts a player into a polygamist.
Life is merely one very long day that routinely gets dark to give people a sensible excuse to keep their eyes closed for 8 hours.
Prophecy kills perseverance.
Tomorrow is like “there.” Once you get “there,” it is called “here.” So, technically, life is a set of Todays.
To a zulu, every phone is an “iPhone.”
When a joker dies, the joke remains.
We can’t all be DJs, someone has to do the dancing.
Once a woman goes over 25, she prioritizes “financial security” in a potential lover. Love and good looks are just a bonus.
Proofraeders are overrated.
Procrastination threatens critics’ livelihood.
Intelligence is not saying things that are not understood; it is understanding things that are not said.
Life demands more thinking than remembering.
Reality is what people who lack vision see.
An agnostic is a very low self-esteem having person that has 5 atheists and 5 Christian friends.
The fear of failure is a liability.
When you decide to meet someone that you met online in person, would you then be taking your relationship to the “previous” level?
Love songs are nothing without exaggeration.
A plagiarist is a creature that has a phobia of blank pages.
Weekends are life’s gift to people who hate their jobs.
Never judge the deeds of a starving man while you’re on a full tummy.
Overweight women are also women.
Skinny men are also men.
Man is today, an end product of what he did, and what he didn’t do, yesterday.
The boring thing with “No sex before marriage” is that kids will never get to attend their parents’ wedding.
Dreams, like knowledge, are worthless without action.
An opinion that isn’t read or heard is as good as unsaid.
Speaking about interesting people doesn’t necessarily make the speaker interesting.
Self-employment killed the weekend.
Sense isn’t democratic. An opinion uttered by 99 people, doesn’t necessarily make more sense than an opposing opinion uttered by one person.
Spam is a waste of the receivers’ time, and, a waste of the sender’s optimism.
You don’t really need to be intelligent to be a “top student.” All that you have to do is to forget the least in an exam.
School fools a lot of people. Professionally, one thing is not the most that one person can be.
Being forever available to the rest of the world is overrated. I mean, what are “missed calls” invented for?
Employment is slavery. Workers merely have a choice over where to serve their daily eight-hour sentence.
Being shy is a symptom of a low self-esteem.
Without “doing” one cannot fail; but one cannot succeed either.
A first-rate story is easily killed by second-rate design.
Masturbation is the new polygamy.
A blank cheque kills creativity.
Public opinion is to an unconventional idea, what abortion is to sperm.
To change the world, one has to ignore its residents.
Hard work is the new luck.
When a man and a woman kiss behind closed doors, they call it cheating. Yet, if the very same man and woman kiss in front of a camera, it will be called acting.
Critiquing a doer isn’t doing.
Dating a (wo)man with a kid is the new adoption.
Life’s most rewarding forms of “being” — Being patient and being yourself.
The weight of a compliment is dependent on how great the complimenter is on the complimented.
We are so used to working that not working is the new hard-work.
Insane is what society call people who believe in the unseen.
An idea is what a thinker gets after reality fornicates with imagination.
School overpopulates students’ minds with too much of what happened yesterday; seldom with what the students can do today, or, tomorrow.
The media made the masses to find not-so-skinny women appear not-so-beautiful in the eyes of the remote holder.
Today, the world rewards those with creative and intellectual muscles. So, women and skinny men need to shut up and start thinking.
Who you are, and, what you have today, is a reflection of how fearful or fearless you were yesterday.
Paparazzi are merely extremely nosy nobodies who have a camera — and bills to pay.
A failure is someone who does not extract a lesson from an unsuccessful attempt; not one whose attempt was unsuccessful.
Life isn’t really short. There are just too many good books to read in one lifetime.
The sooner you acknowledge that society will label you “insane” for seeing the world differently, the sooner you can start changing the world.
School forces unique individuals to act, be, and look alike.
Friends are family members we have a choice over.
Committees kill unconventional ideas for a living.
If growing up means not seeing one’s family and friends on the regular, all in the name of paying the bills; then grown-ups are overrated.
Being yourself is easier than trying to be someone else. The former requires no effort.
Arguments based on subjectivity are a waste of time. And, if they take place online, add to that, a waste of one’s keyboard.
Smoking must be harder than not smoking. The latter doesn’t require any action.
Women who don’t play hard to get are hard to get.
We’re all geniuses. We just have singers playing drums, and, drummers singing, to pay rent.
Never judge a kid with a kid; the one that you’re comparing her with, might have had an abortion, twice.
Saying that someone is full of themselves is silly. Who else can one be full of except self?
Retro is a symptom of a generation that is too lazy to innovate.
If society didn’t honour fitting in, fashion would be unfashionable.
Wisdom isn’t knowing everything, it is merely knowing that you don’t know everything.
We almost always only greet strangers when we need something (time, directions, etc.) from them.