Wedding Speech: Tumelo Rasedile


(I just came back from a friend’s wedding. Being the best man, I was asked to come say a word or two. I only knew that I was going to have to say something … minutes before I was asked to come say something. Below is what I “prepared” in the 10 minutes that I had. Some of the lines below slipped my mind when I gave the speech.)

Greetings to all. The elders. Kids my age. And all the single ladies.

I wasn’t told that I would be asked to come in front of you to speak. But I am happy that I was not told. The good thing about my not having had prepared for this speech … is that I am going to speak from my heart, and, not from my head.

In music, silence is as important as sound is. Every single speaker that spoke today, spoke from a religious and marriage point of view. However, I’m not going to follow their path. I’m not going to talk about marriage. I’m going to talk about a few things that will hopefully add value to you, the bride and the groom, as individuals. For I believe that the well-being of a unity is dependent on the well-being of the individuals that forms the union.

So, with regard to the music analogy that I just gave, those who spoke before me are sound, and, I will play silence.

I will start by adding to what I told the groom at his bachelor’s party.

Firstly, run your own race. We, as a people, are working hard chasing dreams that were defined by society, not us. I say, only chase dreams that you chose.

Everyone in here is looking good. But some of you are wearing clothes that you bought (for this wedding) on credit. Simply because you are expected to wear certain clothes, by certain brands, for occasions like this. Clothes that you bought with money that you do not have.

Some of you have hairstyles that you are not even comfortable in — hairstyles that do not even look good on you — merely because the are certain hairdos that society expects you to have when attending functions like this one.

Secondly, everybody in here is wishing you well. Well, I have a problem with phrases like, “Good luck …”, as they fail to emphasize the importance of action. I like “Congratulations” more than “Good luck.” Simply because “Congratulations” is preceded by action. While “Good luck” is merely what people say to you before you act on what you plan on acting on. An action that might not even happen.

I know that there is a part in the Bible where somebody turned water into wine. So, maybe there are miracles. But I think that regardless of how much one prays, if he does not act, nothing will happen. So, … as controversial as this might sound: I say, rather do without praying, than pray without doing.

Lastly, do not judge the words of a man based on the number of years that he was wished a happy birthday. For there are wise eighteen-year-olds, and, foolish eighty-year-olds. That is to say, wisdom is not dependent on a man’s I.D number.

(As you know, I am not married. So, I will not attempt to advice you on marriage. As that would be akin a poor man advising one that just got wealthy … on wealth.)




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— September 5, 2011.